About Me

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Saint Joseph, MO, United States
I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Perfection?


I was brought up in a church and a school where perfection was desired in just about every aspect of life. The way you dressed, the way you performed, grades everything was about perfection. We were encouraged to always do our best for the glory of God. There is nothing wrong with this idea except that "perfection" is not at all what God requires. It has taken me several years to be o.k. with this idea and even now as an adult I will tell you that I don't have this down AT ALL!

I will tell you that I still worry if I'm home schooling my kids the excellence that they deserve. Am I committed enough? Am I explaining it well enough? I worry that my house isn't decorated enough, I don't cook well enough. Why can't I say no to food better? Why can't this weight fall off faster? By the way why do I always see cobwebs when guests are HERE and NOT when they are NOT here.

I live in a town that is NOT perfect. In fact some outsiders may say that we are a bit of a "cow town." When I first moved here I will tell you that I went to the park and cried A LOT. There was only a Wal-MArt here and some grocery stores. I was a stepmother to two girls that didn't really like me very much at first and I was in a town that I knew no one. It was a recipe for DISASTER!!!! However, I will tell you now that there is no other place I'd rather be......most of the time....I still really miss the south. However, I have a church that is fantastic....they have made me feel much love. When Mark had his surgery that waiting room was full with friends that loved the two of us and knew how hard it was for me. We even had customers come and show their support. I have women that I call on for all sorts of things and you have never met better cooks, better gardeners in your life that will tell you how to can just about everything and cook anything. I have learned much! I can also go to a Target store with my hair in a pony tail and track pants and not feel that I'm totally out of place. I'm very happy with raising my kids here and hope that they become very close to this community. When Mark and I go out for dinner there is never a time that people aren't saying hello.

Despite my love for this town, perfection still haunts me. I'm involved in a Beth Moore study on Esther and one of the questions was "On a scale of 1 to 10 how haunted are you by the pictures of physical perfection that loom nearby?" My response was a seven but before I raised my hands I found that no one talking felt the way that I did. They simply where not caught up by that they were very happy with who they were and I thought to myself "Wow! I really wish I was like that!" I hope that someday I will see myself the way that my perfect Heavenly Fahter sees me but I'm scared that that day might not come. I will keep trying and working and praying that I will see that and that I will be used the way God would like me to be used!

1 comment:

  1. I am not a woman so I can't relate to some of those issue you face. I know in your early life there were mistakes made by the church and school you attended. I didn't agree with some of the pressure put on people, but I think the motives were right. I do know that the ciriculum used was hard but I know testimonies that when some of those students went to public schools, the foundation they had put them way above most of the other students. I appreciate what you are doing in your family and church. I believe that home education is really the way to go today. In my church in Florida, we had a Home School Academy (kept records, Friday school with classes of band, choir, P.E., computers, Art, etc) with about 150 students. A full sports program which competed with private schools. It was fantastic. I think most mothes have questions about their ability to teach, but remember this, No One cares about your children more than you do. You'll do a great job.

    Sorry I took so much time. Your Mom, Dad and family meant a lot to me. I appreciate them for their support while I was in KC. God Bless You.

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