Yesterday, Trey had his last soccer game until it starts back up again in spring. We have been greatly blessed with an amazing coach who we believe is a Christian. I'm not certain of that but yesterday after his actions I believe him to be. He goes to a local church here in St. Joseph and we consider ourselves very lucky for Trey to be under his coaching.
ANYWAY, our team is pretty good they have lost 2 of eight games and I believe that they did very well. Trey has gotten much better than when he started playing and I believe that to be because of his coach. His coach gives him positive feedback but still tells him what he's doing wrong. He encourages him but when he's doing something he shouldn't he tells him so. He basically "sandwiches" it. I have to say that yesterday I was again reminded how lucky we were by watching the coach on the opposing team. This coach had his team yelling at one another, the goalie was smarting off to everyone! They were the kind of kids you wanted to go grab them by their ears and pull them off the field. This coach was yelling at the refs and then started yelling at our coach to proclaim his annoyance. Our coach just looked at him and smiled and said nothing and went right back to coaching his team! I myself wanted to go grab the coach and get in his face at how ridiculous he was being (kinda would have lost the point there eh?) but our coach just took it all in stride. What made this even "sweeter" shall we say is we still won. Normally, good guys it seems finish last but in this case we did win and not just by one either. Afterwards as I was telling my son what can we learn from this game and its not: let's yell at the goalie and talk back to him and be on his level as that it what he was doing to us. I was the Mom over there on the other side of the field waving my arms like a crazy yelling to my son in my head "do NOT engage! do NOT engage! DO NOT ENGAGE!" Oh, to see this in adults and children makes me crazy! What are we teaching our children?
When I was growing up I cheered and that's basically as far into sports as I ventured. I was more musically inclined and did lots of piano competitions but still sports was never my thing. I absolutely hate competition. The only way a coach could get anywhere with me was to tell me that I COULDN'T do something. As a parent and looking on the other side of this now I'm trying to remember what it was like when I was the one "doing" and trying to remember the crazy things that went on in my head. I then recalled the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me in the history of my life!
I was a junior in highschool. It was my first year of cheering and I was...well...not so good at first. It was a soccer game (perhaps that's what jolted my memory!) and it was our very FIRST time out on the floor for our "floor cheer". I started in and then this horrible thing came over me and I completely froze. For those of you thinking I just forgot a little let me make this soo crystal clear to you that you understand the magnitude of this error I COMPLETELY FORGOT THE WHOLE STINKING CHEER AND STOOD THERE AND PRAYED FOR THE GROUND TO SWALLOW ME! "Swallow me now dear ground! Lord, help time to stand still right now and for me to get out of this!" I remember seeing my coach just look at me urging me on with her eyes and inside my head......only AIR...not a single thought could I grasp. I didn't dare look at my parents who by now I'm sure were like wishing the ground would swallow them to. Afterwards, after I said I would NEVER cheer again, that I was a hopeless case, a complete disaster and I would never be able to show my face in public ever again. To me, life was over.....just as fast as it had begun it was over! I don't remember much after it was practically eighteen years ago but I do remember my parents...My Dad just said "Oh well, you forgot! Try harder next time and oh well..." What would have been my reaction if the roles were reversed? Have we become parents that feel that our children not only should be amazing in EVERY sport they do as well as music as well as studies that we forget all the amazing lessons that they are to teach us about life and most importantly about ourselves?
Ellianna has gymnastics tomorrow and I'm fully prepared for them to tell me to wait...to tell me she's not ready and if she's not? Well, I hope that I will not be the parent filled with anxiety thinking I failed or feeling that there is something wrong with my child.
I want to learn to watch my children and their accomplishments and let them be THIER accomplishments and when they fail I don't want to be the parent hiding I want my children to see that just because they mess up doesn't mean they are worthless but means there are more lessons to be learned! I want them to strive for excellence for themselves not compare themselves with others. I don't mean I don't want them to win its just that I don't want them to miss the lessons on the way to winning!