About Me

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Saint Joseph, MO, United States
I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Today I found a Picture

This week for Trey's handwriting I am making him write his thank you notes to his dear friends who came to his party almost two weeks ago. In looking for more thank you notes I found an old picture that made me stop in my tracks! Don't you just love it when your going about your day and then BOOM! it's almost like a slap in the face.

The picture was of Trey who was one month old being held by me (who still had not lost the pregnancy weight) and his father Ron. There we were the perfect little family...frozen in time. I showed it to Trey so he could see how little he was and didn't realize that this would upset him....but it did. I said "you can have it, unless you think it will make you sad?" He handed it back to me without a word....I felt my heart tug but felt my mouth shut and figured that that probably should be where I left it.

This time 11 years ago I was in a hospital being induced for the birth of my very first child. After almost 24 hours of labor out into this world came Ronald Lee Hohman III also known as Trey....all 9lbs 2 1/2 inches of him 22 1/2 inches long! Yes, he was a big one! That is where our adventure began.

My sister called him "baby perfect". He slept beautifully, ate wonderfully, was so happy...hardly ever cried...completely content. He was PERFECT! Then of course he became a toddler and it all came to a screeching halt.

Trey and I are very close...I guess that's why it hurts me so deeply when I see him going in a direction that will only lead to destruction.

After Ron died and it was just Trey and I, I remember fighting with myself...."get out of bed...you have to take care of Trey!"

I remember my little boy putting his little hands on my face and saying "Don't cry today Mommy, its o.k!" I shook my head but inside I wanted to scream..."it doesn't FEEL o.k.!"

So, as I celebrate Trey turning eleven and that we have passed those horrible days but not forgotten who they have made us I'm thankful that God gave me a son like Trey, because without him I'm not sure I would have made it through. There were days that I just had to dig in inside and say GRRRRR and keep right on fighting. It was a strength I never knew that I had but I did. God gave me the strength to make it through when I had nothing left to give. He helped me see that this was a mountaintop but I could climb it and it would be o.k. He gave me a son who put his little hands on my face as a 2 1/2 yr old precious boy and say "It's gonna be o.k. Mamma...don't cry!"

I thank the Lord for my precious boy....even though lately there are days where I wonder...."where did he go?" but he's still in there....I'm still fighting and we will get up this next mountain to!

2 comments:

  1. As I read about the struggles you are having with Trey, I think of my own experiences with my now, 15 year old boy. I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but you better hold on, because it doesn't...but yet it does. Eleven was the hardest year with Nabil, for me, until he turned 13, then my world turned upside down (as I already thought it had when he turned 11!). The thing is, I'm not trying to discourage you...actually the opposite. I finally had to sit back and understand that my baby boy was fighting all those raging hormones that was beginning to flood his body and he was just as confused....a little boy, turning into a man. The arguments, and the words, and the sulking, I found was just as frustrating for him as it was me. I just had to let it go, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY that I was mothering the correct way, and put him in God's hands. I now have a 15 year old young man (though he will ALWAYS be my baby) but he is a GREAT kid. Of course he still has a smart mouth; of course he still argues with EVERYTHING that I say; of course he thinks that I am the UNCOOLEST person in the world; but he also knows that he can come to me about ANYTHING. I've just decided to take the goodness I see in him and I have to think about that during the rough times. You'll continue to have some dark days, we all have crosses to carry, but look for the light in Trey's eyes, his laughter, the infrequent hugs and kisses, the way he is with his siblings and his friends, and catch all of that and think of that. It will get you through...and there is a light at the end of the tunnel...I know there is. Just hang in there. You are an amazing person, Jamie...and an amazing mother!

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  2. Super Sweet Jamie!
    Happy Birthday to your little big man!

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