This week for Trey's handwriting I am making him write his thank you notes to his dear friends who came to his party almost two weeks ago. In looking for more thank you notes I found an old picture that made me stop in my tracks! Don't you just love it when your going about your day and then BOOM! it's almost like a slap in the face.
The picture was of Trey who was one month old being held by me (who still had not lost the pregnancy weight) and his father Ron. There we were the perfect little family...frozen in time. I showed it to Trey so he could see how little he was and didn't realize that this would upset him....but it did. I said "you can have it, unless you think it will make you sad?" He handed it back to me without a word....I felt my heart tug but felt my mouth shut and figured that that probably should be where I left it.
This time 11 years ago I was in a hospital being induced for the birth of my very first child. After almost 24 hours of labor out into this world came Ronald Lee Hohman III also known as Trey....all 9lbs 2 1/2 inches of him 22 1/2 inches long! Yes, he was a big one! That is where our adventure began.
My sister called him "baby perfect". He slept beautifully, ate wonderfully, was so happy...hardly ever cried...completely content. He was PERFECT! Then of course he became a toddler and it all came to a screeching halt.
Trey and I are very close...I guess that's why it hurts me so deeply when I see him going in a direction that will only lead to destruction.
After Ron died and it was just Trey and I, I remember fighting with myself...."get out of bed...you have to take care of Trey!"
I remember my little boy putting his little hands on my face and saying "Don't cry today Mommy, its o.k!" I shook my head but inside I wanted to scream..."it doesn't FEEL o.k.!"
So, as I celebrate Trey turning eleven and that we have passed those horrible days but not forgotten who they have made us I'm thankful that God gave me a son like Trey, because without him I'm not sure I would have made it through. There were days that I just had to dig in inside and say GRRRRR and keep right on fighting. It was a strength I never knew that I had but I did. God gave me the strength to make it through when I had nothing left to give. He helped me see that this was a mountaintop but I could climb it and it would be o.k. He gave me a son who put his little hands on my face as a 2 1/2 yr old precious boy and say "It's gonna be o.k. Mamma...don't cry!"
I thank the Lord for my precious boy....even though lately there are days where I wonder...."where did he go?" but he's still in there....I'm still fighting and we will get up this next mountain to!