Today at church I was in nursery which always is sorta difficult....you know that whole "serving" thing can get really old:) I was sad because I haven't had a chance to be in church lately and I "hear" that my Pastor has had some really awesome sermons! So, today I found myself a little bit attacked and have now found myself in "fear" mode.
As you all know our economy is suffering...as you further know they SAY its getting better...but there's OTHERS that say the worst is yet to come. As a business owner I can't tell you how much this frightens me. I know that God promises to take care of us and we have "emergency funds" available which helps me sleep at night but that can't carry us forever! So, as I sit her and worry about the bills and the store and the "what ifs" I'm reminded that there is absolutely nothing to fear for my God is in control. I can feel Satan now circling around me....I FEEL him this week in the verbal attacks I've received from some and the self-doubt that I've started feeling and NOW the ongoing fear of things I have absolutely NO control over.
This week I have a new clowning adventure and last week I was totally elated! This week three days before my new adventure I find myself terrified and filled with worry! Right now I'm in serious "Eeyore" mode. I keep thinking..."What if the kids hate it? What if they hate me? What if they run away and cry?" This is when I feel Satan the strongest he attacks me from the inside out...I find myself even at times shouting out loud (despite the STARES....ok I don't do this in public!) GO AWAY! I know that those thoughts of self- doubt are from Satan...I know he doesn't want me to succeed! So, I ask you for your prayers for me this day and for my ministry this week because I so feel Satan circling me on every side.
Praying for the Lord's strength this week...knowing He will give it and help me through it all!
May His name be praised!