Friday, January 28, 2011
Mothers, Daughters, Sisters...this one was a WOW!
I'm enjoying looking at this pic....it shows Ellianna's true personality...she wanted me to take a pic of her and our beloved Gracie...who as you can see isn't sure about the youngest member of our family still....however...I like this pic it makes me smile....it makes me so thankful for my daughter....and how long I prayed for this wonderful gift!
Why at this late hour I'm not in bed I cannot tell you....the last three nights I have been up all night checking on Ellianna who according to the doctor has croup...which further irritates it by asthma? The problem being my doctor can't decide if she has asthma or croup or both??? Right now they are frustrated because there is no test to run to figure it out...I say...just make my daughter feel better. So, I'm blogging and listening to her hack and praying for at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep.....the thought makes me almost giddy...I'm practically giggling with the idea! However, I have news...and its good! For three days I've been chewing on this blog and hoping I would say things correctly but today....there was a huge answer to prayer. I have been praying for it for seven years....and today....it happened....the impossible in my mind....was answered! I know I'm so rude without telling you what it is but I just have to say that its good and I'm so happy...no, I'm not having a baby....so just stop that rumor right there...but I am rejoicing over what God is doing in our family...and that's as far as I will go.
So, back to my book Captivating...quite the chapter this one was. Quite the chapter because half of the chapter is underlined, starred or highlighted...a bit crazy lady I went shall we say!
She started off talking about the relationship with her Mother and how it was strained and I have to say that I could feel what she was saying there. In case you think that I'm going to go on about my Mother and her faults you are incorrect...she knows what they are and that's as far as we need to go. I will tell you that much of my life I felt like I never measured up. I was the last child, the most money was spent on me for my education...and I just didn't seem to ever "get it right!" I played piano well, did o.k. for cheerleading, stunk at ALL sports, worked my bottom off for B's in highschool as well as college and always seemed to be "behind". My relationship with my mother was strained throughout my young adult life and when my first husband passed away and I re-married I felt that it was brought even further down. As try as I might i just could never seem to "please" her. Lately, we have seemed to be at a peace with each other. I think this has a lot to do with my Mother wanting to re-connect with me through my daughter. AT first I was resentful but after reading this chapter I believe that all those feelings I had towards my mother were at some points valid but at the same time she was that way because of things that had happened to her to! That was huge for me...to look at my Mother in that way. All the bitterness melted when I changed my viewpoint of how I looked at her. Now don't get me wrong, her words can STILL wound me but I don't hold them there and hold them and hold them!
The second part of this chapter was dealing with friendships of women. I have talked to you all several times of how hard this one is for me and I have heard from many of you the fears that you have with other women also and the fear of rejections.....but at the same time how very much we need these relationships! A particular quote from her book that touched me: " Our friendships flow in the deep waters of the heart where God dwells and transformation takes place. It is here, in this holy place, that a woman can partner with God in impacting another and be impacted by another for lasting good. It is here that she can mother, nurture, encourage and call forth Life." We as women need each other...." Women friends become the face of God to one another the face of grace, of delight, of mercy." I have about three to four women that I go to in a crisis. Three of them older, one younger...they always give me great advice and sometimes I don't like what they say but I know that they will always point me in the direction that i should go...and I truly hope that I will someday be that for someone else....and I hope that I am that way now. "We mother each other when we offer our concern, our care, our comfort. We mother each other when we see a need and rise to meet it whether it be a sweater for a friend who is chilly, a meal for a struggling family, or a listening ear for a friend who is hurting." I don't know about you but I can think of women that have raised to all of those challenges for me in the past....the biggest one being when my husband was in the hospital and I was freezing and my friend texted me asking what I needed...I felt silly but knew I couldn't "wear" the hospital blankets around all day...she brought me a jacket...not only a jacket...but a warm, fuzzy, black jacket (cause she knew I was fashion conscious and wanted to match)isn't that what makes friends so awesome...they know all your weirdo ways! She also sprayed it with perfume because she knew I hated the smell of hospitals....I also had a friend who brought me lunch during his surgery.....even a soft drink! She major hooked me up! "When we enter into our world and into the lives of those we love and offer our tender and strong feminie hearts, we cannot help but mother them."
I know that i have been blessed with great friends who have sat with me through my darkest hours and made jokes to keep me smiling....a sister who walked into the emergency room with me to see Ron one last time after he passed away to say goodbye...another sister who told some unwelcome guests at my husbands funeral to leave.....another friend who pregnant and crying stood up and fought for me when I was at my lowest...another friend who encouraged me not to give up with my second marriage...because it was too hard to keep going....more friends that sat with me in a hospital waiting room to hear about a surgery for a large mass who no one knew what it was....yes, I'm blessed....and so grateful to have such strong women around me...but oh how I pray to be the same to others...."Women friends become the face of God to one another--the face of grace, of delight, of mercy."
May His name be praised!