Last night I finished my book Captivating and I found this last chapter to be the most important for me.
There were several issues in it for me that really spoke to me.
We as women are powerful people. We can do so much good and at the same time so much harm. Our moods set the entire mood for our home. How we send our husbands and children out in the world to face it is very much up to us. There are few fathers who can spout of the information we give about our kids or the schedules that they keep.....give us a day and time and we'll tell you exactly what kids needs to be where and will tell you what exactly they need to make sure they take...."Have you got your water bottles, cleats, etc.?" I find myself exhausted at times just giving the list orally to others its just EASIER when I do it MYSELF already! The same is true for our husbands. I try very hard to make sure that he has what he needs to go out into the world each day...and sometimes I fail.
The biggest part of this chapter deals with how we as women serve and our fear of doing so. It also dealt with relationships and how we as women need each other. We also need each other to cheer us on. She asked the question "What is written on your heart?" What are your passions, your dreams? Yes, I'm a mother, a homemaker, a teacher...but what really gets me excited? A stay at home Mom like myself gets really excited about being home and teaching her kids and doing all those things but what really gets my juices flowing and rejuvenates me time and time again...is my ministry....whether that be clowning or playing the piano...yes, after reading this book I'm ready to play again...perhaps even for church....my soul needs that! I need to make others happy, to see them smile to lift the pain for a moment....scary yes? but what sheer joy when I follow.....I get ridiculed, told it isn't important....but I know it is....I know that God wants me to do it and only I can fill those shoes...only me! Sure, someone can be funnier, play piano better....but it doesn't matter....what did I do...did I sit in the corner afraid that I couldn't do it...or did I go out and do it? I love blogging, I love hearing all the great stories that so many of you have told me about....many of you not followers.....but that's o.k. I don't need a big list of followers to keep going....the e-mails that I get each day from you all is all the "fan mail" that I need. God urges me on....He urges me to be transparent....He tells me to be "real".
I Pet. 3:6 Do not give way to fear.
Do not give way to fear.....that's a hard one to do!
I have two stepdaughters....unless your a stepmother you have no idea the hard role that I play. I'm not their mother, but I do the things for them that mothers do....I clean and cook and pay and clean and cook and listen to their problems, offer advice but as far as having a real "say" that job falls to their parents...not to me. BUT......God chose me to be in their lives and there have been several instances where I know that no one could have filled that particular spot but me.....for "such a times as this."
"Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, "May I have this dance....every day of your life?" His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response."
When I think of that.....how can I say no when He urges me on to do something for Him....how can I not be willing to do what He asks of me? Who cares what "well-meaning" people say! What does my Father say?
When I leave this earth.....and I hope it to be a LONG time from now...and my children look back on my life...I want them to remember that their father and I "served". We didn't sit on the sidelines, getting all we could get....ran the rat race, had the nicest cars (no shame in driving a nice car by the way) but what did we invest in their lives, in the lives of others....for the true kingdom....God's kingdom. Did we teach our children to look for the things in this world or to build up treasures in heaven? Did we show them how to walk with God or merely have a one-sided conversation? Did they know He held our hands through trials and good times, through rough and happy times.....or just when we couldn't fix it on our own?
I pray they see my true "heart" I pray they know I walk with Jesus...and hold His hand...and let Him....lead!
May His name be praised!