Some of you know this but I'm not able to be at church every week due to my Ellianna and her constant sickness. My husband and I have taken turns and I also dislike driving in the snow so I've been not able to attend when the weather is bad. One month I missed church all together. I have my devotions, I have my christian books that I have been reading and learning from daily. I have all sorts of things that I'm trying very hard to overcome. I have christian music on 24/7 but still....I found myself depressed, and feeling very much alone.
This past week has given me a bit of warmth to my soul and for that I'm grateful. The warmth of outside and the sunshine have been the balm that my soul needed. Keeping busy with other projects and being involved in a new endeavor has kept me going.
Why, though, why is it so easy for the little things in life to contribute to my soul to start listening to the lies....why do I so quickly listen to the enemy? It comes so quickly....I have been attacked for the past three weeks and can't for the life of me figure out why.
Today on my way home from taking the kids to Awana I was driving by the Ashland cemetery....saw a dear lady that I know taking flowers to her beloved son. My heart instantly was grieving for her and my lips turned into prayer for her and I felt so very.....grateful for my life...and wondered....why can I go to the graveside of my husband and find the strength to continue on and find joy in my life but these "little" annoyances of life at times are more than I can bear? Why is that? Why does Satan always seem to win?
I haven't been doing my "list" and I know that that is one reason why I'm so quick to go back to this "melancholy" state.
22. banana splits with my Ellie
23. boys laughing as they play a video game together
24. new items in my home that make me smile
25. orange juice and ginger ale
26. Ellie's curly hair after a bath
27. my son's hair in the morning sticking up and everything
28. my husband's hugs
29. opening windows and enjoying warm spring breezes
30. running in the parking lot in a race against my children
these are the "gifts" I'm thankful for this day. I pray that this week...I will continue the list. I will continue to trudge on with joy....not with my head down...frown on...grumpy guss...I really want to find the "joy" of life.
May His name be praised!
Prov. 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
By the way, I very much like pink....that makes me happy too:)