Last night I had a crying, screaming rage of tears in front of my husband...for those of you who don't know me....that doesn't happen EVER! I guess you could say the "winter" had caught up with me. All the sickness, the stress, the weariness of staying home constantly and having sick kids plus the demands of life had FINALLY caught up to me. I have to say my husband looked at me in bewilderment as I screamed, cried and then...I was done....all better!
My side of the family is getting ready to get together in the next two weeks. We really only get together once a year...and to me that kinda makes me sad. You see I have four sisters and we are all very far apart. My oldest sister has a daughter two years older than me. I grew up with my nieces and nephews. I have a sister that I'm eight years apart from and very close....but alas I envy those with sisters that go on trips together and go get pedicures together and braid each others hair (ok maybe not the braiding) but in all the whining and wanting that....its just not the way it is. Getting upset about it won't change it. I have to deal with what I have. In thinking of how our family came together I begin thinking of my parents and how they were brought up.
My father...I'm not sure that I could even have done half the work he did by the time he was my son's age. They were sharecroppers...his Dad would take he and his brothers to California to pick peaches and they would pick cotton and live in tents. My father to this day does NOT think it fun to drink out of Mason Jars or eat out of pie pans since that is what he grew up eating out of. My grandfather who I have inherited my bad temper and strawberry blonde hair from had his issues and my father did his best in raising his five daughters. His mother died during childbirth when he was five years old giving birth to my aunt. He told me that he doesn't remember anything about his mother.
My mother grew up on a farm and my grandmother was not the most loving to my mother. Her father was always kind to her and the only grandfather I was able to meet. My grandmother is still living today. My fondest memories of red clay dirt was found in her backyard....I used to get in so much trouble for getting into that. My mother was raised during the last of the Depression era and now I find myself starting to go back to her ways. I have yet to save aluminum foil but one may find me saving plastic baggies someday. I still don't save slivers of soap like she did but we are all fancy now with the body wash so perhaps we won't ever have to do that and one will NOT find me buying a goat for milk either.
From my parents I learned to work hard and that life isn't fair. I learned that sometimes when you work hard still things go wrong. I learned the value of earning my "keep". These lessons served me well as a single parent and as a young widow. I kept fighting...never gave in even though I wanted to. I guess that's the legacy I want to leave with my children. Of course my prayer is for them to walk humbly with our God but I want them to "fight" to work hard to NOT give in.
I do believe that times are going to get tough....they already have been for many and that is what life is like many times...just plain tough but there is laughter to be had, there are picnics to take and trips to go on. There is life....and with all the tears and sadness there is still joy and hope....no matter what!
Have a great weekend and I'm praying that this "sinus thing" that my husband and I have right now will go away QUICKLY!