About Me

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Saint Joseph, MO, United States
I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Blog Archive

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Meaning Behind The Loud Silence

Once upon a time....OK NOT really!

When I was in highschool and college I struggled with self image. I actually struggled quite a bit. Trying to make friends, trying to "earn" praise and affection to be able to be "perfect" enough...all too much for me to handle.

Long ago...umm....like 1992 I started writing a lot and wrote a story about my life in which I titled it The Loud Silence....because no one knew about my struggle it was completely hidden until it got so big that it seemed to "explode". It was something that couldn't be kept silent...and then it just went BOOM!

So, this whole blog started because of the pain and recovery of my losing my first husband...because I didn't just lose him once I lost him twice and dealing with all of the emotions that go with that take a long time to recover from and sometimes people don't recover at all. So, that is the short story of how the name on my blog came to be.

Lots of times I try to think of a better, catchy name but I realized that the whole reason for the blog started out of the pain that came from fighting my low self-esteem and the tragedy of losing my husband...twice...and learning that the ONLY one that loves me unconditionally is my Heavenly Father. I'm learning that He only wants the very best for my life and He makes NO mistakes. It's difficult to trust once you have been hurt, its difficult to love once you have known rejection, its difficult to not build up walls when others have hurt you and spread rumors about you, its difficult to be different in a world struggling so hard to set a certain standard and those that don't make the bar are treated as "different, not as worthy, and stained." I find this is when our Heavenly Father is really able to do His most glorious work by using us in such an amazing way. When we are at our lowest He is able to use us in such amazing ways because we don't get in the way with our "self pride". We know that when we are used for good it is God's working in us because without Him we are nothing!

So, hope that clears some things up!

Thanks guys....your comments and questions are awesome and encouraging me onward! Thankful for all of you!

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