July 18th...will be but would have been my 14 yr anniversary.....does that make me crazy that I still think about that day....
This summer...I keep looking at my T...and his hands...I remember those hands....that smile...that walk....I have seen it before....but it seems that that life was a dream...sometimes I wouldn't believe that it existed if I didn't have a walking reminder....
I still feel a twinge of guilt....I'm remarried now and soon we will celebrate our 8th anniversary....but still...I feel pulled....to grieve one...and to love another...makes me feel that I'm doing something wrong.
When I would feel down my late husband would put on the song directly taken from scripture:
Shout for you to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;his faithfulness continues through all generations.
I ask for prayer for my son as he learns this lesson...thinking that losing his Dad at the age of two would not leave a severe impact on him was an oversight on my part. We all want to know where we came from and what makes up our personality. However, he has to learn that what God allowed...is for our good...no other explanation or reasoning will satisfy...just that it was allowed and good shall come.
May His name be praised!