There are some good things to be said for being sick. Here are a few:
1. Eating soup and getting it on your shirt....and so not caring.
2. Taking a shower and then putting your hair in a baseball cap...and not caring.
3. Giving your kids pizza and letting them watch a movie several times in one week during dinner (normally a serious no no and only reserved for special occasions)
4. Not vacuuming your floors for three days....and really not caring.
5. Being grateful for Alka Seltzer Plus, cough drops and tissues with lotion in them.
6. Looking at the treadmill when your supposed to be training for your 5K and knowing that THIS time I really can let go of the guilt of missing my workouts.
My children have enjoyed this lazy, unproductive week...and there was a lot of reading that I got done also...which of course has caused a lot of reflection....perhaps....that's why I got sick....I needed some reflection...and quiet....and learning to let go....of...perfection...for at least a couple of days.
I've been reading the book "Dancing with My Father" by Sally Clarkson for awhile. Lest you think I'm slow I read about five books at a time...and I really sat on "one thousand gifts" by Ann Voskamp...for like...forever...and really....doesn't everyone? That book....life changing....however....this book really starting tapping on my little shoulder last night.
For the last two years I have been up against a very BIG Goliath....now instead of that Goliath leaving there has come into my life two more....from the opposite direction....causing great turmoil in my heart and in my life. There are so many times I just want to say "If this wasn't in my life.....then..." That's when it hit me last night when I read the words:
"Often it seems we would rather have another life--any life--than our own. Somehow we think if we lived a different life, it would be easier for us to grow in faithfulness and spiritual character. Yet it is in accepting today with all of its issues, in accepting God's will and training grounds that we learn the secret of joy in his presence. It is in being faithful to our own set of tests that we become mature and fitted for the ministry he has called each of us to accomplish. If we aspire to be a general, so to speak, spiritually, then we must first pass the training and tests of life as a private!"
I grow weary as a mother, stepmother, wife, friend, aunt, sister, daughter, teacher, clown....you get it! I want to stand on a rock and YELL at the top of my lungs "Leave me alone!" I want to retreat and go to an island where no one will find me....but I must stay....and fight...and not give up! Even though I want to....I beg for the "thorn" to be removed.....I beg for the "Goliath" to be defeated....but so far....we are still trudging on.
"Although the world if full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it...We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world." Helen Keller
"Consider it all joy...when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" James 1:2-3
There are days....I hate that verse...and I don't want to smile....but I trudge on...He urges me on....He urges you on!