Does something ever bother you and you let it fester and fester because you realize what a whiner you will sound like if you say it out loud. Then an opportunity presents itself and you are able to share it without sounding like a whiner and you feel sooooo GOOD that you did!
I confess....I'm lonely....I long for friendships....I long to sit with an iced tea and hear and discuss issues that not just affect me but my friends as well. I was in need of some serious "girl talk".
The past three weeks have been brutal and I mean BRUTAL! A lot going on in my personal life, my son gone to church camp and then a Scouts trip, the anniversary of my first husbands death, the drama of a blended family...and I have come up EMPTY! I was on E and ready to just completely putter out! I was sitting in church listening to praise music and honestly just hurting...just sitting there exhausted...I didn't sing...I couldn't...I didn't feel it...and that's ok...its better in my opinion to sit and just "be" and not worry what others may think that look at you...because today...I didn't have that in me either...I just didn't care what people thought of me...I was sad and hurt...then...an amazing thing happened...truly...something so small...yet...made a huge difference seriously HUGE!
As many of you know a dear lady and friend that goes to my church loves to run...and another dear friend is as crazy as her and loves to run and the two of them together came up with the idea of a 5K race for our church and whoever else wants to be involved in it. I have been wanting to run again and lacked the motivation....and found it hard to take the time to do something for myself...I felt selfish in designating time for just me...but it has been a wonderful experience. Even though I'm only up to 2 miles and come sputtering in at 30 min....I still have accomplished my workouts and not given up. It also means the world to me that there are others...encouraging me on....so I continue. Today, I had some friends ask me specifically how I was doing and did I accomplish my goal and would I like to run with them sometime....to many of you this may sound small....but to me it was huge....I had friends...people that wanted to really and genuinely know how I was doing in my quest for the 5K. Now, lest you think I have no friends...that's not true....I do. I walk through the halls of our church and I pretty much know all the faces approaching me...I think I'm a nice enough person (I hope so) and I find that people confide in me about certain things....BUT sometimes I get lonely...as a homeschool Mom who is alone with her children most of the time...I crave companionship....and with this new run I believe that I'm able to discuss something that doesn't start with "How are the kids? and end with what curriculum do you use?" Those aren't bad things....but this has been a great change.
I'm excited about this race and I'm excited about the friendships being made. It made me realize....if I am being shown love by other Christians then in turn I'm able to give that love to others that are hurting and draw them in to our fold.
As a church member I can say...we are better together....and I also realize how that the smallest comment can seem like the biggest compliment to someone else that will absolutely make their day.
I'm very glad that my dear friends started this Bible study called Run For God....I truly don't think she realized all the benefits that would come with it....I know I didn't.
We live in a crazy, lost, sad, depressed world with heavy burdens that we carry....church should be our sanctuary where we feel supported and feel refreshed after we leave to be able to go out into the world and be a light that shines to a hurting world. If we are NOT getting rejuvenated at church then our light begins to fade...I know that mine was. So, those of you that have an "idea" that might sound far fetched???? Go for it...I'm certainly glad that my dear friends did!
Now in turn I'm able to minister in the unique way that I minister.....
May His name be praised!