This month on my facebook wall I have seen my friends write what they are thankful for each day. I have even joined in....and I have loved reading the things that people are writing. The most striking things to me are the "little" things that people write. I think when you start observing the "little" things is when you truly are understanding what having a grateful heart is.
For the past three weeks I have been in a big chair waiting for my knee to heal....it is finally better...but not completely healed. I can finally walk with no limp and go up the stairs with no pain but I have to go slow....I have to make sure that I'm pacing myself and then get back on my one crutch when it starts hurting again...I have to be in "tune" with what my knee is telling me. During this time of "patience learning" I have learned many things, and have found it fascinating in the things I have learned. I had a friend tell me...well, several actually...."perhaps this was NOT for you but for your family....to realize all that you do for them." I have an 11 yr old that clearly sees that now and my four year old also.
I have learned to be still and enjoy the time with my family. My E is four...it amazes me the things that she is learning. My T is 11 will be 12 in two days....how did we get here already? Last night while I was putting my E to bed I turned on her praise and worship music and she wanted to twirl. I watched her in silent thanks as she twirled and twirled to beautiful praise music moving her hands in quiet dance...this little one I prayed and begged God to send me...and when I finally bowed to His will and said that it was ok that I was content with my one child...He gave me the desires of my heart. My E her name means "God has answered" and my husband and I are blessed to have her.
Today as I begin my first days back to "normalcy" I am tempted to set aside the "quiet" I am wanting to embrace the "chaos" clean like crazy, decorate like nobody's business and spray paint SOMETHING....but in a way I'm sad....the quiet, the "letting things go"....perhaps those lessons still need to be put into practice. The dust will always be there, the swiffer wet jet will be ready to use and the laundry won't always be piled high....but do I want to live in a house that's spotless with my children who are unhappy that their mother never spends time with them....or do I want to sit....and watch my E twirl?