When I was little I didn't really have trouble making friends....I talked to much and was generally pretty friendly...when I got older like...twelve....that's when I learned that I have a temper...and can make and break friends pretty easily. THEN I hit college and FINALLY learned how to "behave thyself!" I am sure my friends from elementary school will tell you....I was DIFFICULT....and my friends from highschool will tell you....I needed "EXTRA GRACE". Believe it or not....I still have a few friends from highschool and college...BUT....they ALL live far away...some VERY far away....and this makes me sad....and lately....VERY SAD!
I live in a BIG/Small town. Does that make sense? Everyone at my church is related somehow to someone else...and they all KNOW each other....(of course that makes sense since they are related DUH!) Don't get me wrong they are nice to me and we are friends....but I can't seem....to "click" with any ONE person....does that make sense to anyone? I'm not alone though...my hubby and I in our "quest" for friends...have found that other people seem to be in the same boat as we....just the other day I was talking to someone who felt the SAME way I did! We even made a plan of ATTACK to change this!
My point being....we are busy...if you saw what we were doing in our house right now you would die. When I put the list of things to be done it takes longer to write the list then it does to do the projects....We are painting the outside of our house, we are painting furniture inside the house, and re-doing all three children's bedrooms, we are selling gmas house...well, we are getting it ready to sell...and I do have to make a lot of soap this summer to be available for fall festivals, and I do homeschool my kids and this fall I will start working at our store on the weekends to help with our income....SOOO, throw in some bball games, chess tournaments, cheerleading, dance, homeschool enrichment classes, Boy Scouts, sunday school prep, and oh by the way...I do clown for events which takes some outside preparation...I also play piano for church offering (which major takes prep) Now, I write all that not for you to say "Your sooo amazing" trust me, it sounds amazing but I so am NOT! Besides, you can write all the same stuff I assure you! My point and only point is this....its easy to get carried away and NOT invest in friendships or make the plan to have people over...because after all...its ONE more thing to be added to the list!
My hubby and I have had people over and enjoyed ourselves and then....it just kinda stopped...no one else...had us over....and we felt....REJECTED! So, I stopped....I just had my kids have friends over and we continued with our insane busy lives....but...I'm a social person....I NEED friends....I NEED someone to tell me "that's insane" I need someone to tell me that I should def NOT buy that shirt or that dress! I need someone to cry on their shoulder when I've tried everything and it hasn't worked and my son says he hates me...he did, he really did....but then he told me he was sorry....and I remember saying that to my Mom (I know, I'm horrible).
Anyway, my hubby always says to me "A man who hath friends must show himself friendly!" This always makes me mad...I yell "I'm FRIENDLY! What do you mean!?"
I am not alone in this quest....and I shall continue on....fighting to find my one friend....my buddy, my confidant...and those of you you who find yourself saying "I FEEL exactly the same way!" Well, lets get busy...because...we ALL need friends:)