Have you ever met anyone that made you so mad that you wanted to scream and yell and put in that last dig....and then that thought that you knew would feel so amazing coming out comes out and your left with the sickening feeling that yes, you hurt that person but lost so much more in the process!
This week was one of those weeks....but with one thing on my side....I actually kept my mouth shut! However, in keeping my mouth shut my spirit raged inside of me at the injustice of it all. I was so distraught my spirit so low I didn't want to eat, growled at my children...was an absolute blast to be around :(
So, I started reading the book Resolution but read it with a bit more of a purpose since I had been convinced by our Pastor's wife that I should try to come one last time but wasn't sure I could with my schedule being so packed I probably wouldn't be able to....guess what it was all about? It was about priorities and faithfully serving right now. It was about those that " when they choose to do everything, can't do anything well." OUCH! It was about bringing your best to God "right here, right now,". It was about " overwork is a form of unbelief. Your saying through your actions that you don't believe He can take care of everything, meaning you're on the hook for it. But playing God is exhausting. After all, He's the only one up to the job." ok...you can STOP NOW!
Finally it was about the tongue...which is connected to the heart. Silence......it's a blessing that I haven't mastered! " for we all stumble in many ways,but if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is able to control his whole body. James 3:2
Finally, the last kick in the pants.... " the heart is a reservoir, a holding tank for every attitude and belief we've either placed there or allowed to hang out there. It is a storehouse containing the essence of who we are and because of its direct link to our ongoing habits and cautions the picture of who we are becoming." basically meaning when someone is yelling at you, spreading untruths about you, being rude to you....and you lash back in word or even action it is because the one and only one living inside of you does not have reign over your heart....you have given control in your head but not your heart....leaving you ( or should I say...me) to speak without thought of consequences but just what feels good, whatever can cut the other the deepest, whatever will stop that person in their tracks..and then I'm left with...nothing....just the shame that I lost the battle over my mouth and let the brain win and not the heart!
" Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Prov 4:23
So, I guess my costume for fall party was more on target than I thought!
Have a GREAT day! I'm still learning:)