About Me

My photo
Saint Joseph, MO, United States
I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Hope for Christmas

There are many blogs to read.  There are many people that have a lot of things to say...they have beautiful homes, wonderful crafts, fabulous baking and cooking and organizing ideas....and there is so much talent that sometimes t can be overwhelming.

I started this blog about three years ago because I felt that I had some unique experiences that few others had.  For awhile I wrote about them even though it made some uncomfortable but the feedback I received spurred me on...so today...as my heart breaks....I write on.

When I became a parent for the first time I was overwhelmed, overjoyed...and amazed that I and m husband made such a perfect little human being....parent hood was nothing that I thought it would be and everything I never imagined....I am blessed to be a Mom...beyond words....truly blessed.

In my parenting I have learned that all of our children are different and between my husband and myself we have four children....they all have completely different personalities and talents, strengths and weaknesses and the balance of knowing how to deal with them makes me feel at times that I'm orchestrating several freight trains at once just waiting for them all to crash....and right now we have one that is off the tracks....and it breaks our hearts....and our family is broken....and we sit in silence...because it's easier to keep the pain to ourselves than announce it to the world.  To say that you have a problem in your family means that you set yourself up to be judged...we don't really feel like being judged right now.   It mans that people that have never been through the pain you are going through like to give unwanted advice...it means that people pull their kids from your kids that haven't gone off the tracks because they might spread that"off track gene" to their kid and well we just can't have that.  It means that we are not perfect...it means we have a front row seat to either a "God sized" miracle or a crushing blow....it means you find out who your real friends are.  It means you learn how to pray like never before.  It means your way harder on your other kids still riding the rails...it means you cry a lot, it means you don't allow yourself to look at pictures, or sit still long enough.  It means you freeze time and scrutinize every decision you ever made or said to that child....it means you learn to let go...to let God in....to have Him hold you...because you can't sleep, can't feel, can't get through the day unless you give to Him all day L ONG  say...I give you my children...the ones that run to you and the ones that run from you....and you never look at those parents that children ran from them the same way again....you never say " it can't happen in our family." Because it can....we are all capable of running....

Appreciate your prayers as we await how this story unfolds....


  1. I'm sorry you and your family are experiencing a difficult time right now :( I totally agree, that no one truly understands unless they walk a mile in your shoes. Prayers to give you strength and peace during this time and during the holiday season.

  2. I've been out of touch--
    I can't say that I know how you feel-- , each family is different, each experience and each child is different. Is there ever a time when we feel like being judged? I think for me-- when I experienced trials with our kids or his kids-- just like you said "it is easier to keep (it) to our selves than 'announce it to the world'.
    I am just reading this 5 months to the day you posted it...
    I am praying for your family today.
    The grace of the LORD Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.