About Me

My photo
Saint Joseph, MO, United States
I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Hope for Christmas

There are many blogs to read.  There are many people that have a lot of things to say...they have beautiful homes, wonderful crafts, fabulous baking and cooking and organizing ideas....and there is so much talent that sometimes t can be overwhelming.

I started this blog about three years ago because I felt that I had some unique experiences that few others had.  For awhile I wrote about them even though it made some uncomfortable but the feedback I received spurred me on...so today...as my heart breaks....I write on.

When I became a parent for the first time I was overwhelmed, overjoyed...and amazed that I and m husband made such a perfect little human being....parent hood was nothing that I thought it would be and everything I never imagined....I am blessed to be a Mom...beyond words....truly blessed.

In my parenting I have learned that all of our children are different and between my husband and myself we have four children....they all have completely different personalities and talents, strengths and weaknesses and the balance of knowing how to deal with them makes me feel at times that I'm orchestrating several freight trains at once just waiting for them all to crash....and right now we have one that is off the tracks....and it breaks our hearts....and our family is broken....and we sit in silence...because it's easier to keep the pain to ourselves than announce it to the world.  To say that you have a problem in your family means that you set yourself up to be judged...we don't really feel like being judged right now.   It mans that people that have never been through the pain you are going through like to give unwanted advice...it means that people pull their kids from your kids that haven't gone off the tracks because they might spread that"off track gene" to their kid and well we just can't have that.  It means that we are not perfect...it means we have a front row seat to either a "God sized" miracle or a crushing blow....it means you find out who your real friends are.  It means you learn how to pray like never before.  It means your way harder on your other kids still riding the rails...it means you cry a lot, it means you don't allow yourself to look at pictures, or sit still long enough.  It means you freeze time and scrutinize every decision you ever made or said to that child....it means you learn to let go...to let God in....to have Him hold you...because you can't sleep, can't feel, can't get through the day unless you give to Him all day L ONG  say...I give you my children...the ones that run to you and the ones that run from you....and you never look at those parents that children ran from them the same way again....you never say " it can't happen in our family." Because it can....we are all capable of running....

Appreciate your prayers as we await how this story unfolds....


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Facebook

My son just turned 14 and wanted a Facebook. I told him no....I wish someone would have told I me no. Lately I get on just to check deals that are going on and rarely post anything unless it's a picture from Instagram.  I would love to shut down the account but that's how I plan things for the college kids and parties, and advertise for my soap business, and my real business.

I used to post things when I was angry, or felt self righteous, I would post my childrens accomplishments and probably still do.  Then I just kind of got tired of it all and started sharing articles that meant a lot to me...then people started sharing their opinions of how they felt about those articles...and they were not always positive...and then I just got annoyed and stayed annoyed.  Then people would unfriend me and I would unfriend them...or they would post pics of their kids birthday party that they didn't invite my kid too...or boast about how giving and wonderful their child was...and I realized....Facebook has just become another seventh grade battlefield...where some of us never grow up...and mean girls rule.

I must confess sometimes I act like a mean girl...and that's why unless it's humorous I rarely post anymore...usually my posts are something like this:  we finally got the driveway clear of any snow and then to mock us it snowed again:).

It also creates this false sense of knowing someone.  I may post pictures of my glorious gorgeous house which makes you all feel that I'm super wonderful....but really I'm not...I may be lonely, sad, depressed but boy can I fake it by posting pics of just the positive....and that's what Facebook does...creates a false sense of knowing one another.

Facebook has its good points to. I get to see what is happening in my relatives lives that live far away,  my friends that are far away and keeps me up to date on happenings at church etc....but  honestly...what would happen if I hit the delete button? Wouldn't people be able to email me, text me,
 Instagram me, twitter me....aren't I already so connected anyway? What makes me feel that I just can't hit it???

I sometimes feel that I'm spying on people and what a waste of time it is...why do we feel this urgency for it??? I'm still waiting for the answer...still trying to get the courage to hit delete.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Christmas decorating

I have been so very busy that o have not been able to post anything for such a long time.

I started off with around 35 boxes of Christmas decorations ( ridiculous i realize) I got rid of ten boxes after our move and just got rid of five more! The house we lived in before had a huge front porch and large white pillars inside the home. It usually took me a week to decorate it. I was grumpy and my children hated helping me carry all those boxes! This year if I didn't love it I got rid of it and then I revamped some things.....today I let the kids have a day off while we finish decorating and it's actually going to be warm enough to spray paint some things! This is how the house is looking so far!

Add caption